Mystery: Embracing the Unknown - December 2018
In her address to the graduating class of 2014 of Naropa University, Buddhist nun and celebrated author Pema Chodron talks about the mystery of what is to come, the uncertainty facing so many of the graduates before her that day. Her address focused on failure, and the importance of failing well. In addressing failure, she talks about “welcoming the unwelcome” – how we have a tendency to avoid difficult experiences and feelings in our lives. And she quotes James Joyce’s “Ulysses,” sharing his observation that “mistakes can be ‘the portals of discovery.’”
What Chodron views to be true of failure, I think is also true of the unknown in our lives, the uncertain – the mystery. Life is full of transitions and changes, they are unavoidable. Nothing stays the same forever. As much as change is inevitable though, we often try to avoid it, or if unavoidable, we’re unhappy about it, or wish it weren’t so. And often that resistance is because we’re afraid of the unknown, of what might happen.
There is comfort to be found in what we know, in what we have, in what exists now, especially if what we have now feels good. Somewhat counterintuitively to our logical selves, we also often find comfort in what we know, in what we have, in what exists now, even when that doesn’t feel good. Whether it’s good or not, we often find comfort and safety in what is familiar – even if a change might bring better things.
Some changes we have no choice about. You can’t stay an undergraduate forever, though I’ve known a handful of people who’ve done their damndest to try. Eventually, you have to move on, and face the future, whatever it may bring. Other changes we can avoid – we have a pretty decent job, why go looking for one that might be better? We’re in a relationship that is fine, safe, easy, but is not fulfilling in other ways – sometimes it feels safer and better to stay, instead of risking what you might find out there.
Embracing uncertainty, embracing the unknown, though, doesn’t have to be an all or nothing proposition. I had a friend, back in the day, who reminded me every so often that “you always need to leave room for magic in your life.” His point, of course, was that you can’t have your life be so full that there isn’t room for something new and wonderful to come in. There’s a direct connection there with embracing the unknown – if you leave room for magic, you’re leaving room for the unknown, for the uncertain, for mystery. To live into his saying of leaving room for magic, you have to be willing to embrace the mystery, to embrace the unknown. To embrace this bit of wisdom in fact also means that you’re not only willing to embrace the unknown, but even to go as far as to be excited about it – something that you don’t know yet will bring wonderful, magical things to your life!
Just over a year ago, I had one of these experiences. Many of you know that my wife, Elizabeth, in addition to being a minister, also happens to be a yoga teacher. And for most of our relationship, she’s been gently suggesting to me every so often that I should try yoga, that I’d probably really like it. I kept brushing her off, month after month, year after year, mostly because I was telling myself that I was too busy. I kept saying “maybe, sometime, sure, but not right now.” Underneath though, I was skeptical, and maybe even a little bit afraid. Which doesn’t make any sense really, but it was true. I generally pride myself on being willing to try almost anything once, and here was something that was important to someone I cared about that I wasn’t even willing to try once, based primarily on my own fear of the unknown, a fear that I wasn’t even consciously able to name or admit to myself. Finally, just over a year ago on Thanksgiving week, I gave in, and went to a yoga class with her. And I’ve been hooked ever since – it is now one of the most important things I do in my life for physical and spiritual renewal.
This is my hope for you, and for us, as we explore our theme of Mystery together this month. I hope you can leave room, or create space, for magic and mystery in your life. I hope you can embrace a little bit of uncertainty, or try something new, so that you might discover something exciting that maybe you hadn’t even dreamed of before. And maybe together, if we leave room for magic and mystery in our lives as a community – maybe together we can find something new and exciting too!
See you in church!
peace, love, and blessings,
Rev. Seth
What Chodron views to be true of failure, I think is also true of the unknown in our lives, the uncertain – the mystery. Life is full of transitions and changes, they are unavoidable. Nothing stays the same forever. As much as change is inevitable though, we often try to avoid it, or if unavoidable, we’re unhappy about it, or wish it weren’t so. And often that resistance is because we’re afraid of the unknown, of what might happen.
There is comfort to be found in what we know, in what we have, in what exists now, especially if what we have now feels good. Somewhat counterintuitively to our logical selves, we also often find comfort in what we know, in what we have, in what exists now, even when that doesn’t feel good. Whether it’s good or not, we often find comfort and safety in what is familiar – even if a change might bring better things.
Some changes we have no choice about. You can’t stay an undergraduate forever, though I’ve known a handful of people who’ve done their damndest to try. Eventually, you have to move on, and face the future, whatever it may bring. Other changes we can avoid – we have a pretty decent job, why go looking for one that might be better? We’re in a relationship that is fine, safe, easy, but is not fulfilling in other ways – sometimes it feels safer and better to stay, instead of risking what you might find out there.
Embracing uncertainty, embracing the unknown, though, doesn’t have to be an all or nothing proposition. I had a friend, back in the day, who reminded me every so often that “you always need to leave room for magic in your life.” His point, of course, was that you can’t have your life be so full that there isn’t room for something new and wonderful to come in. There’s a direct connection there with embracing the unknown – if you leave room for magic, you’re leaving room for the unknown, for the uncertain, for mystery. To live into his saying of leaving room for magic, you have to be willing to embrace the mystery, to embrace the unknown. To embrace this bit of wisdom in fact also means that you’re not only willing to embrace the unknown, but even to go as far as to be excited about it – something that you don’t know yet will bring wonderful, magical things to your life!
Just over a year ago, I had one of these experiences. Many of you know that my wife, Elizabeth, in addition to being a minister, also happens to be a yoga teacher. And for most of our relationship, she’s been gently suggesting to me every so often that I should try yoga, that I’d probably really like it. I kept brushing her off, month after month, year after year, mostly because I was telling myself that I was too busy. I kept saying “maybe, sometime, sure, but not right now.” Underneath though, I was skeptical, and maybe even a little bit afraid. Which doesn’t make any sense really, but it was true. I generally pride myself on being willing to try almost anything once, and here was something that was important to someone I cared about that I wasn’t even willing to try once, based primarily on my own fear of the unknown, a fear that I wasn’t even consciously able to name or admit to myself. Finally, just over a year ago on Thanksgiving week, I gave in, and went to a yoga class with her. And I’ve been hooked ever since – it is now one of the most important things I do in my life for physical and spiritual renewal.
This is my hope for you, and for us, as we explore our theme of Mystery together this month. I hope you can leave room, or create space, for magic and mystery in your life. I hope you can embrace a little bit of uncertainty, or try something new, so that you might discover something exciting that maybe you hadn’t even dreamed of before. And maybe together, if we leave room for magic and mystery in our lives as a community – maybe together we can find something new and exciting too!
See you in church!
peace, love, and blessings,
Rev. Seth